Norad Hyrule losers VS The heroic forces of Snoop Dogg
by Tacolover69
Summary: This is a dank tale about Snoop Godd and his crew trying to kill all Rune Factory and Zelda character. Contains dank OCs and memes.
1. Welcome to my world

**This epic fucking fanfic needs a theme song too!**

Eridan and me TacoLover69 (Logan):"If you're a moron and you're on the rise,

you can count on our team taking you down,

cause we're stoners and video games never beat us,

we'll win the fight and then go out for weed pizza!

We, are the Snoop Dogg crew!

We'll always save Dave!

And if you think we can't,

we'll take a shit on your face!

That's why the schmucks of this world, believe in

Snoop Dogg, Eridan, and Ganon!

and Logan!"

Yumienata and Tombo:"If you could only know,

who we really are!

When we arrived in this dimension,

from one that's not too different,

we were amazed to find,

your brains were smaller than your dicks."

Yumienata:"We will fuck your guys,"

Tombo:"And we will fuck your girls!

Tombo and Yumienata:"And we destroy your dimension!

And we will fuck you!"

Tyler Nigge:"I will fight for the place where I'm free to dank some memes, and piss on trees!"

Katdocitty:"I will fight in the name of Feferi and Nepeta, and everything that they believe in!"

Feferi:"I will fight to end the slaughter, and to defend my Muslim beliefs!"

Nepeta:"I will fight to be everything that Equius wants me to be when I'm grown!"

Katdocitty, Tyler Nigge, Feferi, and Nepeta:"

The authors are against us!

we'll all be killed,

but at least we're not going to be dying alone!

We, are the Hyrule and Norad losers!

We'll never save a cave!

And if you think we can,

we'll punch you in the nuts!

That's why the people of this world, will murder

Feferi, Nepeta, and Tyler Nigge!

and Katdocitty!

"Why the fuck couldn't we be part of that line?" Tombo asked.

"Just forget about it and I'll let you eat out my cunt." Yumienata stated.

"Ok Yumienata." Tombo said.


	2. Blow my load

How this all came to be (according to Snoop Dogg)

The motherfucking D O double G stepped on Mana's head crushing her skull and then turned to face the reader.

"Greetings loved ones from the hood," He inhaled more weed before continuing. "Would you like to know how I THE TRUE HERO OF THIS STORY! Saved the world from history's two worst video game franchises?"

"YES!" (you the reader's name) said as you scanned the area and saw over 9000 dead Rune Factory and Zelda characters.

"well..." Snoop Dogg said as he thought "It all began..."

(69 hours and 666 tacos ago.)

"HYAH HEY HYAH HEY HYAH!" Yelled Stink I mean Link as he and the rest of the Rune Factory and Legend of Zelda characters rode up Mt. Smoke Weed Everyday on Agitha's giant beetle.

"What he said was 'Your stoner beats are going to abruptly end when my sword reaches your boombox!'" Shouted Tombo.

"This beetle is too slow." Douglas said to Lana. "We should have rode up on my crabs."

"Where are they?" Lana asked.

"Restin' safely in my pubic hair." Said Douglas as he dropped his pants exposing his genitals to the whole world.

"Wow you are huge!" Said Midna the dominatrix little whore as she masturbated to Douglas' considerable length.

Snoop and his crew watched the irate retards as they climbed up his mountain. He turned to face his crew. "My brothers we knew from the minute we rapped freestyle and took a dump on a Wii-U that we would win this final battle!"

"Yeah!" Yelled...

(Back to present time.)

"That might not be the best starting point." Snoop Dogg said as he hit more tree. "Let us go back even farther, to the day when Rahad was still a nobody!"

(Unknown time in the past.) (because I don't know how long I want this story to be.)

The Norad and Hyrule losers which is every single character from Rune Factory and Zelda sat around a table drinking hand sanitizer and eating plant fertilizer.

When King Gilbert and King Harkinian suddenly stood up and held goblets of hand sanitizer to the sky before Gilbert began to speak "Everyone, you have officially saved the world for the four-hundredth time so we have decided..."

Suddenly the front door to the castle swung open! "Yo, king of crackers, I'm really happy for your victory, and I'ma let you finish your speech, but Eridan fucking CENA has saved the world four-hundred and one times! Also a enemy of yours is paying me to deliver this letter to you!" Said Kanye West.

"Who could it be from?" Said Frey as she continued to give her brother Lest a handjob under the table.

"I think it's from The Great Mighty Poo." Stated Tingle as he ate more fertilizer.

"Let me see that letter." King Harkinian then opened it up and read aloud, "Dear pesky plumbers... I mean Rune Factory and Legend of Zelda characters. You have wronged me for much too long, with your simplistic gameplay and awesome storylines you have kept kids off the street which means they aren't jamming to my nigger beats and joining gangs! You have two choices, A. you can join me. Or B. you can die because I am a god of rap and you mortals will never stop me!"

"I don't think we can stop him." Said Zelda as she and Lynette french kissed.

Suddenly a portal opened, "Then you Lesbos haven't heard of us!" Said Tombo as he and a girl walked out.

"Who are you?" Lynette asked as she and Zelda began to strip, further proving themselfs to be Lesbos.

"We're Mary Sue and Gary Stu power couple OTP Tombo and Yumienata!" Said Yumienata. "I'm his girlfriend."

Tombo said "I will help you fight Snoop Dogg, although I just arrived and shouldn't know about this predic(k)ament ."

"But the question is does she fight?" Asked Kuruna.

"No." Tombo responded, "She's just a good fuck. If she wasn't so good in bed I would have killed her by now and added her head to my collection."

"Well," said CD-I link "I can't wait to chop off some Snoop Doggdongo!"

TO BE CONTINUED…

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Author's Dorito notes of Mountain Dew

Every chapter from this point on except special exceptions will be split in two parts the first has to do with what the losers are up to, and the second has to do with what Lord Snoop Dogg is doing.

Spoiler alert Katdocitty talks like Sollux.

(P.S. this entire section is a lie because I pwn n00bz)


	3. COCK SUCKY FUCKY YOU!

**New enemy, new ally, all inappropriate for children!**

(The Losers side)

Raguna woke up realizing he was getting head from Mist.

"Hello my wonderful husband." She said as she kissed the tip of his dong. Are you ready to start our massive quest to stop Snoop Dogg?"

"I don't have time to be getting my dick licked." Raguna said as he picked Mist up and threw her out the window. "I gotta save the world."

Raguna pulled his pants up and walked outside while stilling sporting a 100 foot long boner. King Gilbert and all of Kardia's residents were waiting there. (Even child Cecilia and Nicholas. Why? Because fuck canon!)

"Raguna my son," Gilbert began to speak. "Because of weird plot shit we need you to lead us to each town, and get everybody in every town to join our army."

"oK," Raguna said in Tavros' voice because why the fuck not?

(About thirty minutes of walking later)

"Why is it the whole way to Alvarna you've been walking like a retarded toddler with prosthetic legs?" Sabrina asked.

"Because I was using a wine bottle as a dildo last night and it got stuck halfway up my asshole." Emmett responded.

"Will every cocksucker who's father's condom broke half way through the sex session please shut your fucking mouth before I shit down your throat?" Said Raguna.

"Does that apply to me?" Gilbert asked.

"Yes even you dad." Raguna then pulled out a megaphone, turned it on, and promptly swallowed it. "We have arrived in Alvarna, but first a word of advice all the people here are inbred so don't get to close or else you'll catch the incest.

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"OK!" Said Kyle as he began to write, "Season 1 Episode 7: How Katdocitty bastardized a fanfiction with Season 1 Episode 6: I'll see you in another dimension." Kyle grabbed a glass of cum took a drink and then continued. "Starring Elyk as he commits suicide, Barrett as a zombie who munches on tits, and last but not least Tyler Nigge as a bush... And by that I mean a guy's pubic hair!"

"People of Alvarna." Raguna stated. "Please come down here to join our army."

"OK!" Said the residents of Alvarna as they stormed out of there houses and joined Raguna's ranks. Even adult Cecilia and Kyle's eight children because FUCK CANON!

Well because this is getting boring to write and I'm running out of ideas let me just give a brief cummery. Raguna went to Sharance and picked up all it's residents, and then preceded to Trampoli where he got everybody including himself and Bianca, Lara, Melody, Mist, Rosetta, and Tabatha who since they are already in his party we will just call their name followed by Frontier. And why are there two of them when they are the same person from the original game? Because FUCK CANON! After that they walked through the bottom of the ocean met Eridan Ampora and Feferi Peixes. Eridan attempted to murder them for being "lowwbloods" and GODDAMMIT! They survived and ran their way to Fenith Island where they met up with the cannibal people there who joined their team. After that they fart rocketed to Selphia where everyone joined their team except Lest and Frey.

00000000000000000000000000000000

"why aren't you joining us?" Raguna asked the siblings.

"Because..." Frey said while she rode her brothers penis A.K.A. 'steed' and kept repeatedly slapping herself and her brother in the face with her 900 pound titties. "We haven't got down like rabbits for roughly 3 seconds so we must screw!"

"I didn't want to do this but you force my schlong." He then pulled out his wang and used it like a whip to beat Lest and Frey up BDSM style.

"Fuck it we can fuck later." Lest said as he pulled out and got dressed.

After that the group went to America to [location withheld] and the town of [censored]. Where they met Katdocitty.

0000000000000000000000000

"Why did you call us?"Asked Micah.

"becau2e ii thought you all miight need my help." He said in Sollux's voice.

"We don't need your help." Max stated.

"I agree, he is probably just a wanker who masturbates with himself." Douglas stated.

"ii can 2upply the 2nack2 you know." Katdocitty said as he pulled out evil twins candy. But he had altered the bag with his psychic powers to say 'eviil twiins'.

"You're hired." Raguna said.

(P.S. the part about Katdocitty talking like Sollux wasn't a lie I trolled you! Also he is never again going to talk like this.)


	4. DO THE ANAL-O!

**DMX finds the hood.**

"Oink oink nigga." Ganon said as he pointed his spear at a person attempting to enter Snoop Dogg's castle on Mt. Smoke Weed Everyday.

"Get out of my wway lowwblood!" Said Eridan Ampora who altered his typing quirk because,

F

U

C

K

C

A

N

O

N

"What are you doing here you dolphin boner sucker?" Ganon asked as he picked boogers then ate them.

"Wwell, I'm a prince and I livve in a ship and I aim my rifle and I shoot from the hip. And I havve a friend I pity quite a bit, she said grab your..."

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Ganon said as he stabbed himself in the head and began to spray blood all over Eridan. "Just go in before I swallow a cyanide capsule."

Eridan walked in and saw himself sitting on Snoop's throne. Suddenly Snoop Dogg revealed it was him in an Eridan costume. "Why hello Prince of Hope what are you doing here?"

"I realize wwhen hope is lost and I wwant to join you."

"Is that all my fishizzle gangsta?" the omnipotent stoner asked.

"No, also about a wweek ago I wwent to fef's house and discovvered she wwas fucking Katdocitty!"

"You poor soul." Snoop said as he handed Eridan a doobie.

"So I ran up behind her and I began to shovve my dick up her ass so I could get my monthly dose of anal." Eridan started coughing.

"And what did your girl say 'bout this homie?" Snoop said as he breathed smoke into Eridan's face making his coughing worse.

"Wwell she said, 'Don't you dare -Eridan! I'm a Muslim, and we believe any position besides missionairy is gross so stop before Alla)( says I can't go to janna)( and get my seventy two male goats to fuck!'"

"You came to the right place, I can see what she's doing right now and you're not going to like it." Snoop Dogg said as his eyes glowed gold and he blew psychic smoke into Eridan's face.

"Wwhere am I?" The prince of hope asked as he clearly saw he was in Katdocitty's house of cheap but STD infested hookers.

"Fuck baby i'm close." Katdocitty said as Feferi continued to ride his 9,000,000 foot long cock.

"O)(, Katdocitty!" Feferi said as her lover's pecker went up her ass covering his peter in shit, and traveled through her body and out her mouth due to it's length. "I'd go to ja)(annam anyday for a c)(ance to ride you!"

Eridan began to cry violet tears. "Fef you slut! All I evver wwanted wwas for you to lovve me!" Suddenly Eridan was back in Snoop's castle.

"Do you still want to join my crewizzle?" he asked

"Yes Lord Snoop Godd!" Eridan screamed as he kissed Snoop's foot.

"Now I like the ring of that." Godd said.

(1 hour of bong usage later.)

The front door swung open. "Where the hood, where the hood, where the hood at?Have that nigga in the cut, where the wood at?Oh, them niggaz actin up?! Where the wolves at? You better BUST THAT if you gon' pull that!" DMX sang as he enter the castle. "Yo Snoop I'm here!"

"I'm Snoop Godd, I already knew you were here." You know who said.

"I'm here to join your army." DMX Stated with pride.

"Hello, I'm Eridan Ampora." Said a random person you all know by now unless your a retarded midget.

"That scarf looks awful feminine, you're not a faggot are you?" DMX asked Eridan. "Because I've got no love for homo thugs!"

"No I am not!" Eridan stated as he walked forward but he tripped on a rug and his mouth landed on DMX's clothed 200% black dong.

"Get your schlong sucker away from my pussy pounder." DMX said as he slapped Eridan with his not gay in any way erection. "I don't know how to be queer. I know how to be ONE THING, that's the dog!"

"If loudmouth watermelon lover does this good fighting his fellow soldiers, those Norad and Hyrule cunts are screwed!" Ethelberd stated.


	5. I ate tacos for lunch today

**Game Theory: can the loser beat Snoop Godd?**

ASS TIME ON RAGUNA'S BALLS Z!

Kyle was running a little short on sex partners so he used his patented split dick technique so he could fuck both Dorothy and Mana in the pussy at the same time!

"Say what?" Collette asked.

"What the rainbow happened?" Asked Daria.

"I happen to like anime..." Danksterofmemes said, "My God is that so unheard of?"

"Sleep with Ganon! Sleep with Ganon! SLEEP WITH GANON! I know you can do it." Natalie said to her daughter.

"Huh?" Alicia asked.

Meanwhile Nepeta was doing her own porno with Katdocitty. Because of Katdocitty's rocket sized chode that was the worst mistake of her virgin vagina's life!

Elsewhere it was Zaid fucking Micah, Dwarf fucking half human half monster, in a raging buttfucking that would end up in a sore ass!

Meanwhile an ugly ass robot from the Taliban named Mettaton who was wearing a pimp suit, began to dance... He exploded! And Katdocitty stole his suit!

Elsewhere Douglas grew raging tits!

"WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!" Bianca yelled.

"GAY! GAY! GAY! GAY!" Shouted Raguna Frontier.

Will Lest overdose from heroin? Find out today on Snoop Lion ball Z!

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We join the Trump supporters as they walk along a path towards THE MUSHROOM KINGDOM! Nah, actually they are just going to Hyrule castle.

"Thirty six days without sex!" Raguna exclaimed, "my balls are gonna explode!"

"Sucks to be you then doesn't it honkey?" Katdocitty asked. "My bitches fuck me everynight!"

"Quit talking like yous a black human you cracker!" Jake hollered at Katdocitty.

"We are all a team so it's stupid to squabble among ourselves." Tyler Nigge stated. as he did blow off of Laura's whore titties.

You know I'm running out of ideas so I might just... YOU KNOW WHAT FUCK IT!

(413 years later when Donald Trump and Robogays have taken over.)

The crew of gimp suit wearers have finally made it to the nutshack known as Hyrule castle.

"Hey yo, Harkinian." Gilbert said "We got our forces did you get yours?"

"Yes, but first we must eat dinner!" The King could miss a few meals and still be a planet sized fatso but that's beside the point.

"Lynette?" Zelda asked as she looked for her girlfriend.

"Pair of tits!" Lynette said as she ran forward pulled the front of Zelda's dress down and sucked her tits. At this point the only dicks that weren't hard belonged to faggots.

"HYEH HEY HYEH HEY HEY!" Link said.

"Does he speak english?" Wario asked despite the fact that he wasn't here and isn't even in this story.

"No, but he sings very horribly in english." Impa responded.

"Go ahead less shitty me, sing us a song!" CD-I Link said in a very heterosexual way (NOT!)

"When I cum I be like, ooh aah yeah, ooh ooh. When I cum I be like..."

"Uh I think we've heard enough." Micah said as he stroked Zaid's cock until he was hard and then shoved it into one of his ears and out the other to block out the singing.

Suddenly there was a knock at the front door, "Come in Mah Boi before we all swallow cyanide capsules!" King Harkinian Hollered.

"We... Are under attack...By the evil forces of...Mat..." A royal guard riddled with bullet holes said as he stumbled in and died.

"And that my friends, proves the theory that I can fart out bullets to kill my enemies." MatPat said as he walked away from the castle.

"Hee yu gat beaak herererere!" Frey said as she (had a stroke! JK, JK) attempted to talk but had her brother's hot salami (that was about to squirt mayonnaise.) half way down her throat so she slurred.

"I theorize that they are going to follow me." Mat said under his breath.

"HEY!" Raguna yelled "WE ARE FOLLOWING YOU!"

"Faguna wait!" Fi shouted as she tried to grab his arm, "You can't beat him no one can!"

"WELL SOMEBODY HAS TO DO SOMETHING!" Raguna spat in Fi's face.

"I know, BUT NOT NOW!" Fi restrained the rabid earthmate "He has the power of the Game Theory, no matter how outlandish or retarded the theory he can turn it against us!"

"Fi," Frey stated with the motherly sounding voice. "Let him go, Raguna is just too heroic he'll save anyone even if they happen to be a bastardo incest baby who fucks cats and fishes."

"Are you trying to tell me something?" Katdocitty said as he got his dick licked by Feferi and Nepeta in unison.

"Uh no..." Frey stated as she jerked off Lest. "All I mean is let him go Fi, I got a plan." Frey stated as she put a rubber band on the base of Lest's penis to make sure he didn't ejaculate.

"Ok." The slow talking motherfuckin' blue girl stated. "But Master Faguna your not going alone."

"Ok how bout everybody come?" Raguna asked.

"DAMN! I SURE WISH I COULD!" Lest stated as he was still getting stroked, and started to feel pain in his genitals.

By this time MatPat was half way to Mcbotnik's to order a XXXtra large PINGASburger. "Yo, white boy!" Kyle asked in a wacky kinda way.

"So you RPG trash finally caught up?" Mat asked, "Come at me!"

"I'll accept that challenge!" Micah said as he turned into a Golden Wooly and rolled forward.

"I theorized you might do this!" Mat said as he began to spin his wang like a helicoptor blade and sheered Micah as he rolled forward.

"You may have destroyed my precious fur but I have other tricks up my sleeve!" Micah said as he leaned over and began to shit diarrhea all over MatPat's shirt.

"As gross as that was, it still won't kill me!" MatPatFuckAMonkey'sHat stated.

"NO BUT THIS WILL!" Frey shouted as she ran forward with Lest, while still stroking his cock. "Say hello to my brother's seed." She then ripped the rubber band off (almost ripping Lest's cock and balls off in the process.) Sending a tidal wave of cum towards Mat. "Essentially you just got covered in what could have been our beautiful children."

"OH I GOT JIZZ ON MY EYEBALLS!" Mat yelled as he tried to wipe the ejaculation off, to no avail.

"Take this BIATCH!" Raguna charged forward with his sword aimed towards Mat's throat! But in what seemed like the last millisecond, Mat deflected the attack with his robotic right arm! (It feel off from excessive fapping in his virgin days.) The deflection also knocked Raguna a mile! He landed on a tree that from the impact got shoved up his ass through his body and out his skull! But because of motherfucking miracles he survived unharmed!

"Don't you people realize," Mat began to scream, "That even if you strike me down it will only make me more power-..." A stray Xenomorph was walking and decided to be a dick by stabbing the head of the next person it saw, who happened to be you guessed it MatPat.

Our poor lost hero friend died the most honorable death possible, falling down with your brain knocked onto your stomach and being covered in blood, shit, and cum. Rest assured he was allowed to get into Dogghalla.

"thanks Xenomorph!" Raguna said as he walked over and gave it a hug. "Now we're one step closer to castrating a bad Dogg!"

For those curious about the arrival of Tombo and Yumienata they will cum (innuendo intended) soon!


	6. WHIP NAE NAE

Bye Lest, :'( -From Frey

After MatPat's sad defeat the team went back and spent the night at Hyrule castle. They had second through tenth dinner then disbanded to the castle's millions of bedrooms, little did Frey or any of the other losers know that Lest had an evil plan!

Frey was laying in bed and turned to face her brother. "Lest," She asked as she yawned and tapped his shoulder, "Wanna have sex?" She then preceded to pull a side of her nightgown down and exposed one of her nipples hoping Lest would accept the offer and proceed to suck it.

"Go back to bed Frey, I don't feel like blowing my load tonight." Lest stated as he rolled and turned away from his sister/lover.

"What's wrong love?" She asked before sexually licking Lest's cheek.

"I just wanna sleep!" He shouted before bashing himself on the head with an iron causing him to be knocked out.

(The next morning)

Frey woke up at eight A.M. and since it wasn't uncommon for Lest to wake up first she decided to do something seductive to see if he was in a better mood. So as she laid under the covers she adjusted her nightgowns straps so they no longer kept her jugs from being exposed. "Good morning!" She said as she sat up, stretched, and yawned. She realized Lest wasn't there.

"RAGUNA!" She yelled as she ran into his room. Her nightgown dropped in the process so she was completely nude.

Mist Romney and Raguna Mccain were sleeping. "Wow, you are one sexy motherfucking squirrel!" Mist said as she woke up and started pissing cum and urine as she looked Frey over.

"Yeah she is." Raguna stated as shit out his dick and used his pointer and 'fuck you' finger to rub Frey's hairy vagina and then stuck two fingers inside of her.

Frey began to blush. "I admit you're making me really wet and normally I'd suggest we have a BDSM threesome, but Lest is go Goa gone so we need to find him!"

"Fine! as long as we get that threesome later." Raguna said as he got up and got dressed.

"DEAL!" Frey shouted.

(three hours later)

Groose and Frey were wearing bikinis (yes even Groose.), laying on a beach towel under a umbrella. Suddenly Hazel approached and tapped Frey on the shoulder. "We sadly couldn't find your brother dear."

"Oh no!" Groose yelled as he shook Hazel. "Do you know what's going to happen now?"

"NO I DON'T!" The shop owner hollered back as she was shook.

"It's too late Groose." Frey said as she pulled out a microphone and a tune began to play, "It sure is lonely around here ever since Lest disappeared in the middle of the night."

Young Runey presents: Lest's disappearance by Frey Ft. Lest, BEGIN!

(This parody has been lost in translation by Funimation.)

(Meanwhile at Snoop's castle on Mt. Smoke weed everyday)

"Hello is anyone home?" Lest said as he walked into the castle.

"what the fuck are you doing here, aren't you a good guy?" Ethelberd asked.

"Not anymore." Lest responded.

"Howw do wwe knoww your not lying?" Feridan Bampora Eridan's twin asked. (If you think there is a troll named Feridan GO TO HELL MOTHERFUCKER!)

"Because my sister turned into a bitch and did some evil orgasm denial stuff to me, so now I'm genuinely pissed at her and want to kill her." Lest said as he pulled his pants down and pissed on Fanon, Ganon's gay lover's rock collection.

"I don't trust you!" Ganon said as he got ready to stab Lest.

"Brotha we should trust this dude, even though he is a Rune Factory character he could still be converted and help our cause." Snoop Godd said as he teleported into the room.

DMX rode in on a toilet car, "We may be able to make him Bi, but I don't think we can convert him all the way to gay." DMX said as he wiped his ass.

"Wwrong kinda convversion idiot." Eridan said.

"My gangstizzles we must not fight, because we are 'bout to go fight some losers who in no way are California girls." Snoop said as he pulled out his pimp cane.

(A little while later.)

"Still can't find him?" Frey asked Katdocitty and his trio of troll hookas.

"Nope," Vriska said as she flipped her hair and did the nae nae. "He pro8a8ly left and died in a ditch."

"I'm right here you titty hags!" Lest said as him and the true heroes walked from over a hill in the same fashion as Psy did in his music video Gentlemen kicking a squirrel in the ass in the process.

"Lest!" Frey shouted.

"Frey!" Lest shouted.

They embraced and made up with a make out. (Who writes this shit? New characters appear every chapter for no reason. And now these two fucktards are suddenly in love again?) "I don't want to be a villai..."

Eridan had shot a massive hole larger than King Harkinian's stomach into Lest's chest using Ahab's crosshairs. "I nevver trusted that lowwblood."

"NO! LEST!" Frey shouted because blood got gushed into her mouth and through her bikini into her vagina and she was afraid she would get AIDS.

"LOL!" Kyle said as he fapped to all the n00b blood.

"He can't die yet, if he did how would we do the rap off." Snoop said as he used his Deus ex machina defibrillator to revive Lest and heal his wounds.

"Get your rappers ready for our battle tomorrow." Ganon said as they shoved Lest into a cage and carried him off.


	7. Hot pocket

Epic rap battles of good guy rappers versus irate morons

Largie Tinys, Biggie Small's Naziesque Jew cousin took the stage, as Snoop Godd's band of heroes sat on the left side of the audience area, (whatever its called, and if you know don't tell me fuckhead.) sex dolls where sat in the middle, and the Retard Warriors on the right.

"Welcome to this dank ass rap battle!" The notorious S.M.A.L.L. yelled into his microphone. "First up is Snoop Godd and his gang of 420 gangsters, they plan on dropping some wicked flames. But don't worry, you won't get burnt unless you're the stupid fucking morons known only as the Norad and Hyrule losers."

Snoop Dogg, DMX, Ganon, Ethelberd, Eridan, and every black rapper in the history of nigger rap walked onto the stage as the music began.

BEGIN!

Snoop began to sing, "Hungry kids in the crib ma, pocket like it's hot, pocket like it's hot, pocket like it's hot."

Not really retard, now really BEGIN!

[Intro everyone except Snoop Godd]

Snooooooooooop..

Snooooooooooop..

[Chorus - Snoop Godd]

When the losa's in da battle ya

Kill'em like they sluts

Kill'em like they sluts

Kill'em like they sluts

When the troll hookas try to troll ya

Kick'em in the cunts

Kick'em in the cunts

Kick'em in the cunts

And if da faggot (Katdocitty) get an attitude

Punch'em in the cock

Punch'em in the cock

Punch'em in the cock

I got the weed in my hand and I'm drinking Chandon

And I kill the biggest fags cause I got it going on

[Verse - DMX]

I'm a nice nigga, with some nigga dreams

See this nigga dude, see this nigga pen(is)

Eligible driver, million dollar bike

If you don't like me, you can take a fucking hike

Black Phantom, exterior thats coal black

The interior red because mah muscle, you should know that

I can lobotmize you, this needle go in your eye

Cheat on your white girl, that's how you become mah homie.

Killer wit the beat, I got killers with me in the sheets

Wit my steel you're vag will feel like Crackas in the heat

So don't try to fuck me if you're a fag talking all that homo shit

Trying to ask me to lick yo dick

When my niggaz pop their glock you ain't gonna fuck shit

You should rearrange your life, take a second, fuck a chick

Matter fact, you should fuck four B(itche)s

And think before you fuck wit lil cock sucking b(oy)s

[Chorus]

When the losa's in da battle ya

Kill'em like they sluts

Kill'em like they sluts

Kill'em like they sluts

When the troll hookas try to troll ya

Kick'em in the cunts

Kick'em in the cunts

Kick'em in the cunts

And if da faggot (Katdocitty) get an attitude

Punch'em in the cock

Punch'em in the cock

Punch'em in the cock

I got the weed in my hand and I'm drinking Chandon

And I kill the biggest fags cause I got it going on

[Verse - Snoop Dogg]

I'm a deity, but y'all knew that

Da Big Bo$$ Godd, yeah I had to do that

I keep a pitch black flag hangin' out my ass

then ride my segway nude with mah homies who are trailer trash

Ain't no other way to play the game the way I play

I cut so much you thought I was an emo DJ

[scratches] "six!" - "nine!" - "yep, seventy three!"

S-N double O-P, G-O double D

I can't fake it, just break it, and when I take it

See I specialize in making all my foes get date raped

So bring your friends dawg, even the losa's come inside

We got a world premiere rap battle here, now get live!

So don't ignore this niggle, turn my beat up a little

I got a living room full of fine dining pizzaizzles

Gotta take a Pizzle, golden shower Drizzle, eat too much then go and take a Shitzzle

ho's to the bizzack, now whores here we gizzo

[Chorus]

When the losa's in da battle ya

Kill'em like they sluts

Kill'em like they sluts

Kill'em like they sluts

When the troll hookas try to troll ya

Kick'em in the cunts

Kick'em in the cunts

Kick'em in the cunts

And if da faggot (Katdocitty) get an attitude

Punch'em in the cock

Punch'em in the cock

Punch'em in the cock

I got the weed in my hand and I'm drinking Chandon

And I kill the biggest fags cause I got it going on

[Verse - Snoop Dogg]

I'm a hero, wit a lotta foes

Drive a cadillac, and wear my awesome clothes

I hang out with niggas, I'm a real Bo$$

Big Snoop Godd, yeah he's so hawt

On the TV screen and on the music scene

If you pray to me, you're on my religion team

Oh you're a fag so you wanna suck cock?

AK47 now faggot, you're dead, STOP!

Cement shoes, but I still got the groove

No one's crying, you're not on the news

They won't find you, and no one misses you

Must I remind you I'm only here to slaughter you

Pistol whip you, crotch kick you then flip you

Then dance to this motherfucking music we fap to

Subscribe nigga, get yo tissues

Ladies come close, let me see yo panties get loose!

[Chorus]

When the losa's in da battle ya

Kill'em like they sluts

Kill'em like they sluts

Kill'em like they sluts

When the troll hookas try to troll ya

Kick'em in the cunts

Kick'em in the cunts

Kick'em in the cunts

And if da faggot (Katdocitty) get an attitude

Punch'em in the cock

Punch'em in the cock

Punch'em in the cock

I got the weed in my hand and I'm drinking Chandon

And I kill the biggest fags cause I got it going on

[Outro]

Snooooooooooop.

Snooooooooooop..

END!

"Damn. that's going to be hard to beat." Mana Banana Kyle dating masturbating slut whispered to Katdocitty.

Katdofaggitty began to speak "Yeah, I agr-"

Suddenly a portal opened. "My cock is much bigger than yours, my cock can walk right through the door, with the feeling so pure, it's got you screaming back for more!" Tombo sang/screamed his nuts off as he walked through a portal.

"Cool, in denial, We're the cruel OTP couple smoking Cigaro Cigaro cigars..." Yumienata sang as she too walked through the portal.

Largie Tinys walked over while scratching his shitty asshole. "That's a good song and all honkeys, but that's not rap, that's metal you fucking tone deaf twosome!"

"Well excccccuuuuussssse me black dude." Tombo responded.

(Meanwhile in the state of Nevada)

A young man lays on his bed in his bedroom while his girlfriend feeds him chocolate dipped strawberries. It just so happens that today, the 30th of May, 2016 which is the date this chapter was made when it originally got posted to wattpad (before a shit eating faggot got it taken down) is... Not important at all. Though on May 31th this legendary youth would team up with his favorite ghetto rapper!

What is the name of this young man?

Enter name.

Ultimate wigrlord

While the name you picked is completely suitable, using text talk names to fit the two word and eight letter limit is not permitted. Therefore this lad can not be 'Ultimate Wiggerlord'.

Try again.

Logan Trick

Bravo, this young man's name is Logan Trick, lucky you for guessing. Although his first name should consist of four letters, and his last name should consist of either six or in Jade's case seven letters, we will let this slide because as a wise man once said, FUCK CANON!

Logan: Sing a song.

Show Dialoglog:

LOGAN: Make her a member of the midnight crew!

Be serious jackass.

Show Dialoglog:

LOGAN: Fuck you narrator!

LOGAN: But okay, I guess I will sing a serious song.

Thanks Logan, now BEGIN!

Show Dialoglog:

LOGAN: Nigga nigga bitch, nigga nigga nigga fried chicken, nigga watermelon, nigga bitch nigga nigga, white women, titties ass.

return to the Norad/Hyrule faggots.

While that brief intermission happened the Norad/Hyrule warriors had to think of what new song to sing.

"How about we sing started from the bottom?" Sahasrahla suggested.

"Naaaaaaaah." Vriska said. "I have a better suggestion."

Tombo looked over at the super spider bitch. "What is it then dumbass?"

She whispered her suggestion in his ear.

Tombo and Yumienata then flew onto the stage and took the microphone from The Notorious S.M.A.L.L. and preceded to do the worst rap in the history of semi-OC Earthmate dudes and OC Japanese girls rap.

Who won, who's next, I decide!

Snoop was thoroughly disgusted by the Norad/Hyrule faggots lack of effort. "You crackas aren't even tryin' to winizzle your ally."

"That's not true, I want my brother back!" Frey cried and drank her tears.

"To be honest they'll all die when we eventually battle them on our mountain boss, so why not give incesto girl her fuck buddy back so when we battle them later I can ironically penetrate both of them with my spear?" Ganon asked.

"That's a great Idea Ganon." Snoop applauded his ally. "Set him free prince."

"Alright boss." Eridan said as he let his enemy out.

Lest ran out of the cage and embraced his sister as he rubbed his face on her cleavage. And Snoop and his crew departed.

"Um, could I talk to you privately?" Dogdapuppy asked his ho's

"Sure." They all responded at once as they all walked behind a bush.

Find out what happens next time on Logan Trick the movie!


	8. The fag-centric chapter

Logan's Dick the movie!

"So w)(at did you want to talk to us a8out? Glu8 glu8 glu8?" Asked the slutty mcslut sluts as I yet again used a shitty application to combine their typing quirks. (As I did already in Shopping with Katdoshitty and Yato.)

Katdacatburger suddenly turned into a embarrassed tsundere and looked towards the ground as he blushed and kicked dirt about. "It's not like I like you all or anything you, you, you... TITTY BAKAS!"

Suddenly Natalie Pliéd up and did a one (wo)man fish dive, somehow managing to float in the air and kicked Katdocitty in the crotch in the process. "It sounds to me like you forgot to take your pills today! Shove these down your throat queer." She pulled out a extra large bottle of Viagra and forced all the pills into his mouth. "Need something to drink to help get those down?"

Katdickkitty could only nod as his mouth was fuller than someone's who was trying to give Godzilla a blowjob.

"Alright, I'll supply the liquid." She pushed Katdocitty onto the ground and took a scalpel and cut a hole into her pants and panties, she sat on Katdocitty's face and proceeded to piss into his mouth.

That was just the refreshment he needed, Katdocitty gulped down the pills and piss with great vigor and then jumped up, flexing his steroid-enhanced muscles. "Thank you young lady!" He said with a voice not unlike that of Morgan Freeman. "How can I repay this kind, pissy deed?"

"Hmm..." Natalie thought for a second as she thrusted two fingers in her mouth suggestively. "I'VE GOT IT! Just come visit me soon about your erectile dysfunction."

"I don't have erectile dysfunction..."

Natalie pulled out her tits, got down on her knees, and used her nipples to rub his clothed penis. "You don't yet, but just wait until I get done with you, oh god... I'm already soiling myself at the thought of all the needles I'll be sticking into your urethra!"

Tired of hearing an STD infected whore doctor ask her boyfriend to cheat on her and her bitches, Vriska grabbed Natalie by the tits, spun her around, and threw her off into the distance yelling "So long, gay doctor!"

"WELL SINCE THAT RUDE INTERRUPTION IS OVER, LET'S GET BACK TO WHAT I WANTED TO SAY!" Katdocitty yelled as his IED acted up again. "Well I ejaculated to a conclusion while being a peeping tom yesterday."

"Oh, so that's why you weren't in the bedroom using your inflatable poo jabber to explore my purlapsed anus." Nepeta interrupted.

Katdocitty pimp slapped his ho and shouted "CAN EVERY NIGGA IN HAWAII PLEASE LET ME FUCKING TALK!?"

"Okay, but first, fuck you too bitch!~" Tyler Nigge yelled back in a playful voice as he had a good fucking time fucking a good pile of manure.

"Essentially, to keep this short so I don't get interrupted again and decide to kill someone, last night I saw Bianca Frontier and Agitha fucking each other with a giant golden centipede in the hallway like exhibitionist sluts, and I realized having straight sex has gotten boring. So I want to get a sex change so we can do it like lesbians!"

Dr. Edward ran up with a bloody scalpel "Okay we can start your surgery right now!"

Feferi jumped in front of her boyfriend and used her arms to shield him. "Wait! We )(aven't agreed to t)(is yet! Glub glub!"

Dr. Edward pushed her away, grabbed Katdobitchy and threw him on a stretcher. "That's okay, all three of you are retards so your opinions don't matter anyway!" He then began taking the soon to be lesbian to an undisclosed location to perform his underground surgery. "So what breast size do you want son?"

Katdocitty blushed and hid his face. "I want to have a DxD cup please!~"

(Meanwhile Da last of da real heroes where just getting back to their base.)

"Oink oink, weren't we supposed to be teaming up with a little wigglet today?" Ganon asked as he used his spear to perform recreational acupuncture on himself.

"We don't need no wannabe nigger in our gang!" DMX yelled as he rode his race toilet car around the base. "We already got me, and being DMX and all, you know X is gonna give pain to the fools."

Snoop laughed. "That wiggizzle is the second most powerful person in the world, behind me of course. We need him, we just got' be fashionably late so instead of picking him up today, the 31st of May, we gon' be pickin' him up on June 23rd."

Eridan began to cry when he heard such brilliance "You are so fucking cool, I feel like lighting my ass hair on fire."

"Go ahead." Ethelberd said between laughs.

"Okay!" Eridan grabbed some gasoline and a blow(job) torch.

(Back to the soggy tit gang...)

Dr. Edward wheeled a now female Katdocitty back to the rest of the gang who was still waiting near the rap battle stage. "Everyone meet the new Katdafemale!"

Katdafemale jumped off the stretcher and tore his... her? Nah, his robe off revealing huge huge honkin' titties and a very wet cunt, he began to speak in his new high pitched teen girl voice. "Hi everybody... wait a minute why is my voice so high!?"

Dr. Edward laughed, "That is because I went the whole nine yards with this procedure, you got a full sex change, I was able to take breasts off of a long dead corpse and graft them to your chest, then I made them huge via silicone injection, then I made it so that you can become pregnant in case you ever want to have little kittens. After that I proceeded to gave you pitch altering surgery so that you can sound like a slutty teen. And lastly to make sure the vaginal surgery went well I had to stick my dick in and feel around. I also injected you with 69 milliliters of semen."

"OMG!" Katdafemme began crying, "If you're going to cum inside me, at least make sure I'm awake first, thanks to you I will always be forced to say I don't know what my first creampie felt like... WWWWAAAAAHHHH!"

Shara walked up and slapped Dr. Edward before sitting down, grabbing Katdocitty and putting him on her lap, and then pulling one of her breasts out. "It's okay baby, go ahead and breastfeed and you'll feel better." she said as she stroked Katdocitty's hair.

With tears in his eyes Katdocitty nodded and took her perky little nipple into his mouth and began sucking. "Wow Shara, your milk tastes sooooo good, it's like blueberry milk."

"Shara, you've never given birth, how can you produce milk!?" Wells, Shara's grandpa asked in disbelief.

"YO HO HO SHE TOOK A BITE OF GUM-GUM, Nah actually she just took lactation pills." Micah stated.

"No I didn't dumbass" Shara said as she stuck her tongue out at Micah, "When I realized you only married me to hide your faggotry I had an affair with Gaius and got pregnant with his bastard child."

"Damn you Gaius, why didn't you tell me you fucked my wife?" Micah got ready to slap the elf.

"What can I say except you're welcome?" Gaius responded. "You know, I was wondering, where _is_ my child Shara?"

Shara laughed. "HAHAHA, what did you think those ribs you ate a few weeks ago where from?"

"I can't believe I ate my child..." Gaius hid his face in shame, "IT WAS DELICIOUS!"

(Too much retard drama let's skip ahead to that night at mah nigga's base.)

Kim Dong-un Gangnam Styled in singing "Dope, dope, dope, dope, doppa Goddamn Style! HEEEEYYYYY Sexy nuuuuuuke! dope, dope, dope..."

Samuel L. Jackson pulled out a gun, "Quit the goddamn singing!"

"Wha you say Amehrikan?" Kim asked in butchered English.

"QUIT SINGING!"

"Wha?" Kim put his hand to his ear like he was deaf.

"ENGLISH MOTHERFUCKER, DO YOU SPEAK IT?"

Samuel aimed his gun at Kim's head but before he could fire Eridan shot Kim in the crotch, killing him instantly. "HAHA, beat you to it lowwblood."

"He's dead!" DMX announced because apparently he thought his whole crew was blind.

"What's this?" Ethelberd was trying to check Kim's pockets when he found a letter. "Right here it says that Kim apparently thought he was one of ours niggas and was spying on the irate fag tacos."

Snoop Dogg teleported in and posed like Michael Jackson, "Does it say anythin 'bout dem comin to battleizzle us?"

"No, apparently Kim Dong-suck got preoccupied watching some sexy lady with big tits 6999ing three troll bitches."

Ganon was on all four eating out of a trough, but looked up and wiped his face off, "I thought that Faggydaggykitty was dating those trolls, why is he loaning out free cunts?"

Snoop used his god powers to see the past,"Turns out he got a sex change, he now goes by the name Katdotitty. You all know what it's time to do."

Ethelberd got out his phone and called someone, "Send in the gang bang rape squad, also let Samuel L. Jackson know he is fired!"

(A half hour later back at Hyrule castle.)

Katdotitty and his hos had been fucking like lesbo rabbits for the last six hours until finally the hookas had to go take shits, Katdotitty tried to go to bed as his babes proceeded to drag their shitty assholes along the bathroom floor like dogs.

"Who is like there?" Katdotittysmitty asked as he heard a sound like someone trying to fart blast through a window."

Nine of the niggiest niggers you'll every find on niggstreet in niggaland climbed through the window. "It be me an mah crew mastah, I mean slut. We beez here tah rape yah."

Suddenly a famous youtuber jumped out of a closet! "How's it going bros? My name is Peeeewdiepie, and It's raping time!" (Yes I just went there.)

(7 hours of ass dragging later)

"What the fuuuuuuuuck happened here?" Vriska asked as her and the other two assholes walked in and saw their boyfriend passed out and covered in gallons of cum.

Katdocummy woke up and attempted to shit on his knees. "Carry me out to the front, everybody needs to hear about this." They carried him into the dining room where the whole crew was eating 6th breakfast.

"You look beautiful!" Sofia said as she tried not to throw up, needless to say she failed but made sure to throw up on Raven's plate, Raven still ate it though, because bile and chunks of mom's spaghetti makes omelettes taste better.

"What happened to you mah boi?" The king asked as he drank some snot out of his chalice.

A tune played as Katdotitty began to sing about his gang rape.

[Verse 1]

I could not believe my eyes

When a Swedish and some nigger guys

Stuck their junk in my face as I was trying to sleep

They had loads of pubic hair

Their ball sacks they hung like pears

Afterwards my cunt was bloody as hell

[Hook]

They had their dicks surrounding me

And said "Hey tranny, spit roast us"

I've never anybody stick their cock in someones ear

But they fucked my ear like it was a queer

[Verse 2]

This crew of gang bang thugs

they ripped out my eyes because

They fucked my empty sockets like flesh lights

A black cock shoved in my ass, a ball sack stuffed in my mouth

I would have pissed myself, but Pewds, he clogged my cunt

[Hook]

They made me spread out my ass cheeks

Then crowded my small rectum

I've never seen a group of guys clog such a small hole

my ass it bled just like a murdered goat

[Bridge]

They took a break to lick my ass

Then they tit fucked me like hood rats

Made me bend down and suck my clit

Why didn't you all save me from these dipshits?

ABRUPT END!

At this point everybody proceeded to kick Kat's ass for horrible singing and because everybody knows it was his fault for being raped because he was such a slut.

"Hey you didn't let me finish!" Kattdorapey had enough of these fucks and shook his sexy ass as he walked away.

"Hey! Listen! Watch out! Look! Hello?!" Navi yelled, whist being an annoying little cunt as usual.

"What do you want ho?" Katdotitty yelled from his room.

"If they fucked your eye-sockets why do your eyes look fine now?" The fairy asked as she stroked her molecular clit with her wing.

"When they where done Pewdiepie used some cum to glue them back in." Kadotitty then gasped, "EVERYONE, EVERYONE I GOT SOME WONDERFUL NEWS FOR YOU ALL!"

This will be the last exciting cliffhanger for awhile, see as new thrilling events happen next time on I dream of tranny!

STOP Taco Time!

I would like to give a massive thank you to Sidus Alatus. Thank you for being the first person to grace this dank ass tale with a review and feel free to come back and review again anytime. I am glad you are enjoying the humor and especially the references, there will be loads more where that came from.

Until next time smoke weed everyday!


	9. Nigger Navy

Commence the asshole shuffle

June 23rd, it was currently gym class at a school in Nevada. The class was split into three teams, left team, right team, left team, and faggstonian team. (If you're thinking that's too many teams I ave two message for you. 1. Who the hell gives a crap about counting anymore, and 2. FUCK A YOU BATMAN!) Left team was currently wiping their ass with right team, (How can this be happening, Isn't right team always right?) when generic nerd No.46 got hit in the face with a dodge ball and retreated to the bleachers to drink bleach. "Cawn't on-ey wan save us fron dis chos?" The newly broken nosed honkey asked as he guzzled everyone's favorite suicide beverage.

Logan "Da Wigga" Trick walked in wearing a cape that he grabbed and threw into the air. "I'm here to save the day!'

"Thanks Logan!" Right team yelled as they knew their hero had arrived.

"HAHAHA! Who said anything about helping your team? I know for a fact there are some confirmed faggots on your team, so of course I'm going to join the primarily African based left team."

Suddenly the coach ran up blowing a whistle and sending phlegm into the open mouths of students. "You can't say faggot in school Logan!"

Suddenly Katdoshitty (Not related in any way to Katdotitty) and Yato (From Shopping with Katdoshitty and Yato the idiot) came through their newest item for sale: a canon breaking portal! And Katdoshitty walked over to Logan, "Speaking of things you can't say, always remember you can't say Niggas on television."

"Den how da fuck do I get way with it?" Yato asked.

"Because you are one sexy fatherfuckin' squirrel, CUM IN MY ASS HERO!" Katdoshitty yelled as he pulled his lover on top of him and fell onto the floor, since the portal destroyed their clothes Yato was immediately able to stick his penis into his lover's asshole and used ass blood as lube.

Principal Cocksnox burst through the door holding dual handguns. "I hear there was excessive swearing, faggotry, and ass fucking in MY gym! Everybody stick your hands in the air as I find and kill the perpetrators!"

At that moment a helicopter broke through the side of the gym and the door opened revealing none other than G O double D and his cohorts! (Feel free to die of orgasms now.)

Snoop used his powers to conjure up a ladder out of thin air and dropped it down to me. "Weren't we supposed to meet last month, merciful lord of rap?"

He smiled at me and chuckled, "I wanted to be fazhion'bly late, nowz we gon travel back in time ta da last day 'o May."

I climbed up the ladder, joined my niggaz, and proceeded to take long drags of pot with mah homiez as we went through a time warp portal and went back to the past.

(Meanwhile, back with the white crackers.)

"So w)(at did you want to talk to us a8out? Glu8 glu8 glu8?" Asked the slutty mcslut sluts as I yet again used a shitty application to combine their typing quirks. (Dammit I'm repeating lines now... OKAY PEOPLE THIS STORY IS OVER WITH!)

(JUST JOKING, YOU WILL NEVER GET RID OF MY WORK OF ART!) "What good news could you have?" Asked Tingle as he snorted cocaine out of a balloon and I stopped copy and pasting old lines and created a new one.

Katdotitty ran out of his bedroom and his stomach was stuck forty seven or so feet in front of him. "All that sweetish and nigga cum got me insta-preggers, you know what that means right? I'm gonna have shitty little half-breed babies, that is to say..."

Raguna saw that Katdomonkeytit's clitty-titty bitches where getting angry and shoved his fist down Katdopuss's throat. "Quick before rapid action cunt munching commences, get an abortion!"

Feferi walked forward and began to strip, "It's too late for killing fetuses now Raguna, I'm unleashing some Muslim wrath upon this biatch!" Fef revealed she had a bomb strapped to her stomach, because as everybody knows, exploding yourself is the only suitable way for a Muslim to die.

Frey jumped onto Feferi and attempted to hold her down, "I know that he is a retarded fucking cunt for letting himself get raped, but don't blow us all up gurl, I just got my nails done with my brother's semen!"

"It's too late, the bomb will go off in 30 seconds!" Feferi said as her troll cunt juices began to pour down her legs and her nipples got hard, the thought of suicide bombings makes even the most peace loving Muslim cream themselves. "Wait!" She shouted, "I almost forgot to say the most important line. AHMMM, ALLAHU AKBAR ASSHATS!"

At that moment CD-I Link's left nut exploded and Steven Gets-no-poontang-iverse jumped out and bubbled the heroic troll, "We can't have you all dying yet, the story isn't even half over yet!"

CD-I Link got giddy and hopped around like a giddy little Leprechaun, "Wow, I just literally busted a nut!"

Fef scratched her chin, "I never thought abou..." BOOM! She exploded and her guts flew all throughout the bubble.

"She is damn tasty looking," Gaius said as he licked his lips, "Fry her up, and I'll have her for supper!"

"ENOUGH!" King Harkinian shouted, "There is no supper in my castle, only DINNER!"

"But father," CD-I Zelda said, "They are the exact same thing."

Katdotitty waved to get everyone's attention. "Like, people my girlfriend just died, is anyone even slightly upset by this?"

"We are." Vriska and Nepeta said as they groped each others breasts in a obviously sad way.

"That's... So... Sweet!" Katdotitty went over to give them a hug, and as he got there Nepeta extended her claws and rested them beside Katdoatdeathsdoor's neck.

Nepeta smiled, "You're not pregnant bitch."

Katdotitty who was still naked used one hand to hold up her tits and the other to point to her belly. "Look at how thicc I've gotten, I swear to you, I didn't eat ninety billion Happy Meals while you three where in the shit room, I actually got impregnated."

Nepeta having heard enough excuses pulled her hand back causing Katdotitties' jugular to be cut and blood flew out into the open mouth of Gaius the now proud cannibal.

Micah looked to see if anyone was watching and then grabbed Raven's hand, leaned over, nibbled on her ear and then spoke. "Hey, uhh, there is something I've wanted to talk to you about for awhile, can we go talk in my bedroom?"

"Sure." Raven responded and they departed to Micah's fortress of solitude.

(Now for my grand arrival, in the past in Snoop's castle.)

"We're home~~!" The evil AU version of Lynette that never became good and stayed with the kingdom of Sech because of the Fuck Canon law of 1486 said as she hopped through the door LIKE A BOSS!

Duke Onkled who was dressed like a maid and was sweeping the floor turned to address his newly returned allies. "What took you all so long?"

Logan ran forward and punched the geezer in the throat, "What is it any of your business raisin testicles?"

"Your omnipotence have mercy!" Duke Onkled said while cowering.

Cia who was streaming low budget amateur pornography on her 3DS and fingering herself looked over the couch to see what was going on, "OH, Logan!" She said as she tried to hide the fact that she was blushing, "I'm so glad you where able to join us."

"I'm glad too, but not because I want to see your face broad. I'm just glad to be on a team with mah homeboi Godd Snoop." Logan responded.

"Damn niggs," Snoop said as he got a godly vision of what Raguna and Co. where up to. "dose crackas be killin' each otha before we gets to kill 'em. I betta teleport ova dere and stop them foolizzles."

(Back to the fag and whore.)

Micah and Raven walked into the bedroom holding hands like they thought they where innocent middle school students or some shit. They sat on Micah's bed and stared at each other while still holding hands until Micah finally grew a hairy set of sheep balls and pushed Raven down before licking her neck, pulling up her shirt and groping one of her boobs.

"Micah...STOP!" She said between moans as her nipple hardened in the boys hand and she felt her vagina start to get wet. "I thought you loved Zaid?"

Micah licked the tip of her nose then gave her a kiss. "He was a fling, I've always loved you!"

She realized she was blushing and bit her lip in an awkward shy smile. "Then will you please prove it to me?"

"M'kay." Mr. Mackey Micah said as he turned into a sheep and placed his now hardened member between her breasts.

"I kinda wanted you inside me, but this is good too." She pressed her boobs together and began to slowly push her breasts up and down on her lover's cock. "It's actually pretty hot feeling you rubbing against my breasts like this, I'm really sensitive here by the way. I can cum just by rubbing my nipples, so of course you're really helping my get off." She stopped talking and began to lick Micah's tip every time his member emerged from between her boobs. After a few minutes of this she took a break and started speaking again. "You know, me and Gaius used to fuck everyday, he was only in it for himself though, so he forced me to give him blowjobs under the counter during work and he never once helped me orgasm."

Micah was feeling queasy. "This is by far the most disgusting thing I've ever done, can you please just give me an assjob before I puke all over your face?"

Raven snickered, "Do I look like the kinda ho that likes to use her butt?" Micah opened his mouth to talk but she cupped her hand over his mouth, "Don't say a word, just get off of me so I can climbed on you."

Micah climbed off and laid down on his back and raven sat on his lap and started to use her ass cheeks to jerk him off when suddenly he hollered "SURPRISE BUTTSECKS!" And shove his dick up her ass.

"AAAHHHHH!" Raven yelled.

Everyone ran in to make sure Raven was okay right as Micah stated. "Don't think I'm enjoying this either bitch, I'd rather be stickin' my dick in the chicken than any female orifice."

"Sorry, but I beat you to it." Tyler Nigge said as he was humping an uncooked chicken.

"Micah you damn, why didn't you fuck me you told my girlfriend?" Gaius shouted.

Micah laughed, "What the fuck does that mean?"

"I think he means 'Damn you Micah, why didn't you tell me you fucked my girlfriend." Kyle said as he put on his nerd glasses.

Micah stuck his tongue out, "For the same reason you didn't tell me you fucked my wife, I decided since you got my wife to cheat on me, I'd get your girlfriend to cheat on you."

Gaius laughed, "That was actually a really good plan, high five friend!" They high-fived as Zaid cried.

"I thought you love me, Micah you punk!" Zaid yelled as he loaded a revolver and put it against his temple.

"I do love you!" Micah shouted DBZ style. "I just hoped I could piss of Gaius!"

"Well it's too late now. You made me sad, so I have to do the logical solution, goodbye Micah!" Zaid pulled the trigger and rain matter and blood sloshed onto CD-I Link's remaining nut.

Gaius walked up licking his lips, "Hey, uh, link do you mind if I take care of that for you?"

"Sure, good ahead!" FagD-I responded a little too cheerfully.

Gaius licked the blood off of Link's damaged nutshack before proceeding to bite his remaining testicle off. "That is some good shit. Somebody needs to let General Sanders know that this is the real finger lickin' good sauce."

At that moment Snoop Godd busted through the castle's front door holding his deus ex machina defibrillators, "What da fuck you crackas be thankin?"

Raguna pulled out his sword, "I don't know, what are **YOU** talking about nigger?"

"Well all I knows is dat I set up dis huge questizzle, hoping to make thangs interrestin' befo we kill ya'll, and ya'll be too busy killin' each otha!" Snoop laughed, "So bein' a good sport n all, I'll bring yo thot back to life." He walked over and used his defibrillators on Katdotitty to bring her back to life, but it also made her unpregnant and a boy again.

"Damn," Katdotitty, I mean citty said as he sat up, "I was just getting used to a tack, and now I'm back to a salami." At that moment his surviving hos ran over, gave him a hug and proceeded to blow him.

"Since I doubt ya'll will eva find yo next destination I'll go 'head and loan ya a map." With that he handed Faguna a map and started to walk out the door.

Fatdocitty and Zaid poke in unison, "Hey, wait what about the other two dead people?"

Snoop laughed, "They killed themselves so they be stayin' dead." And with that he left.

* * *

NEXT TIME ON NORAD/HYRULE LOSERS!

The wang sucking gang travels to the land of Terminal AIDS, where in three days the moon is going to crash down and ass rape anyone within a fifty mile radius! Can the retards stop the moon or are they as good as Rape Horsed? Find out next time on Dragon Ball Soup Turd!


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